Quite possibly the biggest, most shocking announcement of the 
presidential campaign season took place on Sunday (what you missed it?). Ralph Nader, the 74 year old lifelong consumer advocate, is throwing his hat into the ring for President (again) in his great crusade for irrelevance.
What irrelevance you say? Nader only received 442,000 votes the last time he ran for President in 2004, a whopping 85% drop from the 2.8 million people who voted for him in 2000. And considering the widely held belief that he catapulted George Bush into office in 2000 by stealing crucial votes from Al Gore in Florida, he is about as welcome into the political fold as hemorrhoids on your wedding day.
Although many people in the political sphere would like to see him disappear and the media are skeptical of the legitimacy of his candidacy there are many who are happy he is running for President:
- Ron Paul Supporters – Ralph Nader supporters make even the nuttiest, conspiratorial Ron Paulites seem rational.
- John McCain – At 74 years old Ralph Nader will not only be the oldest candidate, but will take over McCain’s lead in the polls on the question: Which candidate most resembles a corpse?
- John McCain (again) – McCain can’t wait for Ralph Nader to divert more of the ‘crazy vote’ from the democrats as his did in 2000 and 2004.
- Al Gore – Now Ralph Nader can destroy some other democratic candidate’s chance to win the presidency.
- Jessica Simpson – Ralph Nader’s candidacy will take the top spot over Jessica Simpson’s Blonde Ambition for biggest bomb of 2008. (I should take this time to mention, in Jessica’s defense, that although her movie only grossed around $1200 in the U.S. it is currently the number 1 movie in Ukraine!)
- Dick Cheney – Ralph Nader’s negativity makes Cheney look like a ray of sunshine.
- Big Oil, Environmental Polluters, and the military industrial complex -If it wasn’t for good old Ralphie in 2000 the U.S. may had Al Gore, the greenest most environmentally conscious president ever who also may have kept us out of the war in Iraq. (Sort of ironic since Nader is being courted by the Green Party.)
Good luck to Ralph Nader, the candidate of unintended consequences (U.S. Auto industry, Bush victory 2000) on his crusade for irrelevance.
Filed under: Funny, politics | Tagged: 2008 presidential campaign, al gore, dick cheney, george bush, green party, john mccain, ralph nader, ron paul
Just as in 2000… and we saw who we got then!!!
A vote for Nader was a vote for Bush.
And now:
A vote for Nader is a vote for McCain!
DON’T VOTE NADER!!!
If ya’ like going to war in the wrong country for no apparent reason vote McCain.
Uhhh…lemme see… terrorists from Saudi Arabia flew planes into buildings on the direction of another Saudi in Afghanistan…. soooo….OBVIOUSLY… we should invade Iraq.
Yep! Lemme have some more of that logic…. Maybe Bush can run as Vice-President…. Is that allowed? Because he and his staff are real geniuses.
Remember folks, the ONLY reason Bush got the White House was because of Nader. Thus Nader can be blamed for: The Iraq War, The economy, The price of oil, and possibly even 9-11.(one can only guess on that last one) McCain is just as nutty as Bush but smarter which makes him more dangerous.